“I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.”- Bruce, Finding Nemo
It’s 2025, and let’s get real about emotions. As a therapist, I often hear clients talk about "negative" emotions like anger, sadness, fear, and guilt as though they’re public enemy number one. There’s a collective longing to hit the “off” switch on these emotions, viewing them as catastrophic or destructive forces to eliminate. Negative emotions are seen as if they’re on America’s Most Wanted list, with the reward being a perfect life reset. But what if I told you that emotions—yes, even the ones we avoid—are more like misunderstood heroes than villains?
Let’s dive in.
The Primal Nature of Emotions
Emotions are primal, essential, and deeply rooted in our survival. They act as an internal GPS system, guiding us through life’s twists and turns. Think of emotions as sensory signals designed to protect us or steer us toward what we need.
Imagine you’re driving, and your GPS suddenly starts acting up. You wouldn’t just shut it off and drive blindly, risking missed turns and, worse, ending up somewhere... let’s say, unsettling. Instead, you’d troubleshoot the issue and adapt your route. Emotions are your internal GPS. They're signaling something important when they go off—whether with joy, fear, or sadness. Ignoring them or trying to shut them down only leaves us lost and disconnected.
Reframing the "Negative" Narrative
Let’s flip the script on the term "negative emotions." Anger, sadness, guilt, and fear aren’t inherently bad; they’re simply signals. Anger might alert us to a boundary being crossed. Sadness can guide us toward processing a loss. Guilt may remind us to align our actions with our values. Fear often warns us of danger or helps us assess risk.
Instead of labeling emotions as good or bad, try seeing them as neutral messengers. They’re here to provide insight—not to control your life.
Practicing Non-Attachment
One key to embracing emotions is learning not to become too attached to them. This doesn’t mean pushing them away but rather experiencing them without over-identifying with them. Instead of saying, “I am sad,” try saying, “In this moment, I am experiencing sadness.” This subtle shift in language reminds us that emotions are temporary. They ebb and flow, like waves on the shore. Some emotions may linger longer than others, but none of them are permanent.
Experiencing Life Fully
I like to think of life as a ride with highs and lows. When I’m experiencing the highs, I understand that a low will come at some point—and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to avoid the lows but to understand and navigate them. Each emotion adds depth and richness to our experience of life.
Self-Assessment: The Key to Emotional Guidance
Every situation is unique, and our emotional responses are shaped by our self-awareness and coping skills. Taking time to assess what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, and what you need to do about it is critical. For instance, when you feel fear, ask yourself: “Is this fear protecting me, or is it holding me back?” When sadness arises, reflect: “What loss am I processing, and how can I honor it?”
Embrace the Journey
Emotions aren’t here to derail you; they’re here to guide you. Rather than seeing them as enemies, embrace them as friends—messengers that help you understand yourself and the world around you.
So the next time you feel an intense emotion rising, pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself: “This, too, shall pass.” Emotions are just part of the ride—and they’re what make life so beautifully, messily human.
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